Gods of Egypt, Why do movies like this get green-lit?

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I just watched the trailer for what I predict will be the first financial bomb of 2016, GODS OF EGYPT.

This movie stars Game of Thrones actor Nikolaj Coster-Waldau as the hero of the film Horus, He also started in last years The Other Woman, the really disappointing feature film version of the scary short film Mama, and had a bit part in the boring Tom Cruise space movie Oblivion. None of these movies are pieces of great cinema by any count.

Our bad guy is played by the start of the upcoming 80’s action comedy London Has Fallen Down, Fallen Down, Fallen Down, My Fair Lady, Gerard Butler as Set. Ugh, I can not stand Gerard Butler. The only movie I liked with him in it was The Ugly Truth, don’t judge me monkey…

What makes me sad as I read this cast is that somehow they were able to rope in Geoffrey Rush, from Pirates of the Caribbean and Mystery Men (that was the first movie I saw him in), and Black Panther himself Chadwick Boseman.

These two are really good actors, how did they agree to do this film? Rush I can kind of get, I mean like Morgan Freeman said once about why do A Dolphin Tale 2…”Money.” Boseman though, he just got signed on to Disney’s Marvel Universe for both Civil War and a stand alone Black Panther film. He does not need to do this movie, unless they offered them both a butt-load of cash.

With Nikolaj and Butler I can see them doing movies like this. Look at what Butler is coming out next year, a stupid sequel to a stupid movie.

What makes me even more surprise is that a production company would produce this movie and give the movie a 140 million dollar budget. The last Hunger Games movie was only made with 125 million.

Now you can argue, “well look at the trailer, this is a heavy CGI movie. I bet it was all shot on greenscreen and that’s why its so expensive to make!” Take as Exhibit A Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, it was made for 113 million and it was a heavy CGI film. Course with the last Pirates film the budget was 378.5 million and racked in a total of 1.046 billion in the box office. But Gods of Egypt is not piggy backing on a franchise like Pirates is doing. This film I highly predict will come no where close to a billion in the box office. I’ll be surprise if they even break their budget.

Lionsgate is distributing the film, this is the same company of The Hunger Games, Twilight Saga, and The Expendables. So even when this film tanks they will be OK with Hunger Games money. Not to mention they got the distributing rights to the new Mighty Morphing Power Rangers film.

So now we come back to the question at hand, why do films like this get made? What I think is that a film like this will make bank overseas and with that they are able to make their budget back and more. Cause no one here in the US is going to see this movie. I would love to find someone out there who watch the trailer and said, “OMG! What an epic trailer! I MUST see this film!”

They only positive thing I take from this is, if a piece of movie garbage like this can get made I can make a movie, and find people back it like no sweat!

“London Has Fallen”, best 80’s Action movie Comedy spoof of 2015!

I just watched the trailer for the sequel to 2013 Olympus Has Fallen….London Has Fallen. I laughed so hard watching this trailer, it has every cheesy moment from bad 80’s and 90’s action films that started JCVD.

Lets start with the stupid plot that a man, who is on the 10 list of the badest badies ever, has killed several world leaders. They didn;t say why, but if I had to guess I would say…REVENGE!!!

Also after all the other leaders are killed, the bad guy calls America’s Leaders to tell them that if he does not give them The President he will blow up major cities. So let me get this, this guy doesn’t want missile or missile codes, or even money. He wants the President, and if they give him up cities and lives will not be harmed. GIVE HIM THE PRESIDENT! If he dies then Morgan Freedman becomes President, cough watch the trailer and you see he does. Morgan Freeman gives a TAKEN speech at the end of the trailer that is obviously the endning of the film, and since he is standing behind the Presidential seal, means he is the new President.

Also the whole line the President says about to kill him so he does not get captured, yeah that didn’t happen! We see him on a big screen getting torched. We also get three of the cheesy-est cheesy scenes you can put in an action film. When the bad guys tell the John McClane spoof that he is going to kill him, the 3rd rate McClane shoots back, “Should have brought more men then!” CUT TO THE INTO TO CSI: MIAMI.

Then we get Angela Bassett’s one lonely tear down her face…REALLY! Last, but the best part…right as the trailer ends we get a shot of Morgan Freeman saying, “Oh My God!” BOOM TITLE! CUE ME LAUGHING OUT LOUD!

I will not be seeing this movie….that’s all I have to say about that.

Roger Moore Bond films, where did it go wrong?

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Sean Connery in my opinion is, and was, the best actor to play James Bond. I even liked NEVER SAY NEVER AGAIN, even as Connery got older and was given a few more gadgets it still seemed plausible. So after Connery decided not to re-return as Bond, we were given Roger Moore. Now a lot have said that Roger Moore is the worst Bond, I think that the early Moore films in the 70’s were OK.

LIVE AND LET DIE: This is the black exploration Bond film, with the word “Honky” thrown around a lot, and pimps as bad guys. Yaphet Kotto as Mr. Big was a funny Bond villain, you can tell that he had a fun time. Jane Seymour was a great Bond Girl, she played well along side Moore. Director Guy Hamilton has previous directed Goldfinger, Diamonds Are Forever, and then The Man with the Golden Gun. I enjoyed all those films and the cast. The only parts about this movie that was stupid was how they killed Mr. Big. Bond. Bond feeds him a pellet and he expands and blows up. Which I guess is more exciting then how he was killed n the book, eaten by sharks. For reason almost all Bond villains use Sharks to kill people. What also pulls you out of the film is the Buford T. Justice knock-off we get in a Louisiana Sheriff, he’s the worst part about the film hands down. He’s right out of a Dolemite movie.

THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN GUN: One the best Moore Bond movies. In this film we get the late-great Christopher Lee as our main bad guy. Much like Christopher Walken, and Christoph Waltz, Lee was born to play a Bond Villain. Hervé Villechaize played the henchmen Nick Nack and is right up there with Odd Job as one of the best Henchmen in a Bond film. They story was sort of simple, Lee plays a hit-man and teams up with an Asian criminal to control the only free energy source in the world. This film is the most non-silliest Bond film. However it gets silly for a moment when we see another appearance by Buford T. Justice, there’s no point for him to be in the film, he does nothing to push the plot.

THE SPY WHO LOVED ME: This is the last Bond movie with Moore that was good, after this film they rest began to get dumb. We get an interesting Spy movie with the UK and Russia teaming up to stop someone from stealing their subs. What I liked most about this film is JAWS, he’s the best part about this movie. Directed by Lewis Gilbert, who directed  YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE and later MOONRAKER. The Bond villain we get is a bad person, but he does not see himself in that way. He’s not looking to take over the world, or gain any money. All he wants to do is make the world covered in water, and begin a new society. Its crazy and insane, which is why he makes a great Bond villain…that and he has Sharks.

MOONRAKER: Now we are getting to where the Moore Bond films start to fall short. Both the plot of this film and the previous one are the same. Bond must fight a bad guy who wants to destroy the modern world to create a new world somewhere else. The previous film being under water, and this film being Outer Space. Again JAWS is the big henchmen of the film, however in this film they ruin what was an cool bad guy by making him a good guy. We get the same ending as in the previous film, that one being that Bond is caught in bed with the Russian Spy by M, and in this film he is caught in bed with the American Spy by M. Honestly the film didn’t get terrible till the Space Battle at the end…dumb.

FOR YOUR EYES ONLY: This could have been the film that redeemed what MOONRAKER did to the franchise. You had all the elements for a good Bond film. The bad guy was perfect, played by Julian Glover from Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade. The plot of revenge and murder is great for a Bond film. Then you get the underwater fight with the iron man suit guy. I feel like they shot that scene with serious intentions, but it was so silly looking that it comes off slow and dumb. The fight on the Mountain was good, then again it gets silly when the Russian General comes to get computer and Bond throws it over a cliff. The Russian General just laughs, shrugs his shoulders and walks away. So dumb.

OCTOPUSSY: Moore is getting to old for this shit, the plot of the film is actually quite good. Its just the dumb effects and antics that ruin the film. The Tarzan yell when Bond swings from vines is when the Moore franchise died. It doesn’t matter how good the plot may sound, James Bond’s Moore ruins it. At one point he slides down a banister shooting bad guys, but not in a cool way. He has a scared look on his face the whole time. If that was Bronson he would look pissed and angry while sliding down shooting. The green screen effects are also not that terrible as they could have been.There’s is one blooper I caught when the Knife wheeling bad guy is fighting with Bond on top of the plane, as he bad guy get kicked off the plane you can see the stunt man is wearing a parachute. The ending is stupid also, feels like they just through together an ending.

A VIEW TO A KILL: The final Bond film with Moore, The main problem with this film is that I can’t see 57 year-old Moore as Bond. When Connery played an older it worked cause they played on that factor. I would consider this the BATMAN AND ROBIN of the James Bond franchise. You have a scene where Bond is snow boarding down a hill and they start playing The Beach Boys California Girls…during an action scene. Then it just fades away and back to action scenes and close ups of Moore on a studio lot or a BAD green screen. Also Roger Moore’s eyes look scary and Moneypenny as not aged well. Director John Glenn also made both previous bond film FOR YOUR EYES ONLY and OCTOPUSSY, but what surprises me is that this is the same director of both the Dalton Bond films. Those two films were the ones that brought Bond back from the ridiculous. The plot of the film is not thought out well, with Walken being a product of Nazi research as a child, who’s plan is to destroy Silicon Valley so he can be the #1 micro chip seller in the world. Makes no sense, but what ever. The Bond girls we are given act so wooden, its hard to watch this film to be honest.

So in conclusion, the three Moore Bond movies to watch are the first three. Live and Let Die, The Man with the Golden Gun, and The Spy Who Loved Me. The others you can skip cause they don’t hold water, especially when it comes to the Dalton films.