A Hologram for the King aka Tom Hanks gets a paycheck

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The trailer for Tom Hanks new film A Hologram for the King dropped like a rotten egg on the kitchen floor. This trailer is horrible, the whole thing feels like a 90’s rom-com…a bad one at that. The editing of this trailer is all over the place, first it looks like a road movie, then a buddy film, next a romance film. The finish project could have all these elements in it, but for a trailer it pretty much told you the whole film. Plus it gives away the possible twist ending where the cabby is most likely the King.

I never heard of the book this is based on, but it seems to me that is an adaptation that will not translate well to the big screen.

Hanks is one of the producers on the film, and the director is the same from Cloud Atlas which also started Hanks and was a stinker!

The whole premise is stupid to begin with. Hanks places a character that sells a hologram meeting program. So he travels to the middle east to meet with a King, hence the name of the film. Along the way he meets a cabby, who’s the King just watch and see, the town people, makes jokes about the CIA, and he meets a Nurse who he falls in love with. How do I know all this? CAUSE THE TRAILER GAVE IT ALL AWAY!!!

I think this was a films Hanks was doing in between his Ron Howard or Spielberg films. The film will make its money back when they sell the film, but I doubt it will make a large profit.

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Here’s Spidy!

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The new trailer for MARVEL’s Cap. America Civil War just dropped, and it was full of really cool action scenes, give us a more in-depth look at our characters and story outline. It also gave us our first look at the new Spider-Man, and he looks horrible!

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I was so excited to see Spider-Man and even the way he was introduced was weak. Then the look of the costume and the really bad CGI. It looks like a cross between a bad cosplay and the Spider-Man from the 1970’s live-action show.

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Plus his eyes do some weird motion like he’s deadpool or something. The Sam Raimi Spider-Man looked better then this. Plus the last Spider-Man suite was perfect. This just looks like a hot mess, and I hope I HOPE this is not the finish product.

Really I think putting Spider-Man in this film was just way to say sorry for The Amazing Spider-Man 2.

We’ll see if they give us anymore looks at this new Spider-Man, and if those will be any improvement to this disaster.

Ghost Busters are back! Sort of…

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Today the trailer for the Ghost Busters reboot dropped, and it was funny.

Walking into this film a lot of people were not sure how it would turn out. Director Paul Feig gives us an all female Ghost Busters team with Kristen Wiig, Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon, and Leslie Jones.

I will say that is though, the being of this trailer looked a lot like the trailer for the Adam Sandler’s Pixels. Which everyone though was going to be a Ghost Busters style film with video game characters. If you saw the film you know that was NOT the case. So maybe the editor for that trailer was the same for this Ghost Busters trailer. There both produced by SONY so its possible.

Now lets talk about this cast. I’m not a fan of Melissa McCarthy or her comedy film, however she was good in the Bill Murray film St. Vincent. Kristen Wiig does not make me laugh in her comedy, she’s a good dramatic actor though, but in this trailer it shows that her character is more of the strait-man to the others. Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones are the two full comedic characters. There two of the best actors on SNL and I was excited when they were cast in the film.

We also see that the weaponry has been updated, with proton handguns, and a bear trap like ghost trap. I’m excited about this cause its cool to see them have different types of proton packs. However this is not the first Ghost Buster film to show a new type of proton packs.  The very well made unlicensed Ghost Busters’ fan film called “Return of the (Denver) Ghostbusters. Watch the trailer below!

We also got a gimps of the new Slimer, which looks just like he did in the 80’s. Also we got to see Chris Hemsworth as Kevin the receptionist. He was one of the worst parts in the Vacation reboot, so I am worried about how he does in this film.

Now to the villains,  this shit gets crazy. We get all the monsters together in what I can guess a final act. We did  not get a chance to see the main badguy, but we did get a flashback to a familiar ghost. The library ghost returns in a new form in this film. She slimes Kristen Wiig.

I was pleased by this trailer as a fan of the original films, and hope that the keep some of the similar comedy styles those had and not add in bathroom humor, f-bombs, and so on.

“Kindergarten Cop 2: Just Cause” Trailer Review

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Ivan Reitman’s comedy Kindergarten Cop has become a classic Arnold Schwarzenegger comedy. With lines that still get quoted today, “Who is your daddy, and what does he do?” “Shut uuuuup!”, “It’s not a tumor!”

So now 26 years later we got another sequel to a Schwarzenegger that no one asked for. However much like Jingle All the Way, Arnold did not return. Instead we get He-Man himself Dolph Lundgren! Yep  that’s right, this Chemical Engineer who has stared in about 5 films you can remember is the new Kindergarten Cop!

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The director of this film is not a stranger to directing sequels. He’s directed Tremors 5: Bloodlines, Sniper: Legacy, Jarhead 2: Field of Fire, and Lake Placid: The Final Chapter. All gems. The writer also wrote American Pie 2, The Book of Love, and also the canceled Pork’s remake. Great job Universal Pictures!

Then they give him a Chis Tucker like sidekick. The plot has similar elements to the original. With Dolph playing a cop who goes undercover as  teacher. Though in the original you have this story about a bad guy that has connections to one of the students, Big Mommy House stole that idea by the way. In this film its a finding a missing hard drive…exciting!

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Much like how Zoolander No.2 and Dumb and Dumber Too arrived late to the sequel party, Kindergarden Cop 2 was never sent an invitation but showed up anyways. There’s a reason this sequel to a very funny comedy is going strait to Blu-ray, why a studio like Universal would green light this scares me. What a waste of time for everyone involved, I can’t wait to see what this movie makes in sales.

 

Furious Bourne Impossible Expendibales trailer review

I am a fan of the original Bourne Trilogy, I never saw Legacy, so when I heard that a new Bourne movie was coming out I was interested. Then I saw the trailer…oy vey!

The Bourne movie were homage to the classic spy thrillers from the 60’s, it had action and fighting, but this new trailer went all Mission Impossible and Fast and Furious. I think they did this because the franchise with Matt Damon

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has been away for a while and in its place we’ve gotten several Fast movies and those trailers have cars blowing up. You have the line “we’re at at war! we need the perfect weapon!” Replace the Bourne character with Jean-Claude Van Damn its just another action 90’s B-movie.

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Bourne’s story ended with the third film, he found the people who made him what he was and got his revenge. Its going to be like commando or double team where the leader of a government group go find Bourne and tell him, “We need you back Bourne, one-last-time.” At first he’ll say “no, I’m done.” Then the bad guys will effect his new life in someway and he has to fight.

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If I rate the film on this trailer, I won’t be seeing it in theaters. Maybe the longer trailers will change my mind. Until then I’ll go back and watch the trilogy.

Star Trek Beyond trailer review

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Well, crap.

Star Trek Into Darkness was my favorite film of 2013. I saw it twice in theaters and even being a fan of the old Trek I walked out liking every bit of the film. I even liked the first film and thought they handled time travel quite well.

What made those films great were three things, JJ Abrams directing, the perfect cast, and the writing team of Kurtzman and Orci (because they were Trek fans). Sadly the new films is missing two of its key elements, and its so painfully obvious.

JJ went off to direct STAR WARS, which comes out Friday, Kurtzman just didn’t come back at all and Robert Orci back out of everything except for a producer role. He was the original director but later “exited” the film. So that’s when they got Justin Lin of the Fast and Furious franchise to come direct the 3rd film.

Lin does great if the Fast and Furious franchise, but Trek is a whole other ballpark. And from what I saw from this trailer, it doesn’t look good.

First off Simon Pegg was signed on as one of the writers on the film after the studio felt the first few scripts were too Star Trek. In Pegg’s own words, “had a script for Star Trek that wasn’t really working for them. I think the studio was worried that it might have been a little bit too Star Trek-y.”

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“I want you to make a Star Trek movie, but don’t make it anything like Star Trek at all and more like Guardians of the Galaxy.” That’s how I imagine the pitch went.

We start off by hearing music that does not even mesh with the Star Trek tone, the Beastie Boy. Once that song came on I was already out. It just does not work! Might as well thrown in ether Vin Diesel or The Rock in Star Trek. This looks like a hot mess.

The story looks stupid from the little we got, Idris Elba looks like the bad guy from Galaxy Quest. This is not a film for the fans and non fans like the others. This film is for the people who liked the Fast and Furious, and don’t get me wrong I like those movies but not in Trek.

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If the hardcore fans weren’t pissed off already by the last two films, they sure as hell will be now. So next summer I guess we’ll see how Star Trek 3: Boldly Drifting turns out.

Independence Day: Resurgence trailer review

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Thank the maker it didn’t get titled ID2: Forever Part 1…

Today dropped the first trailer for the sequel to the 1996 mega blockbuster Independence Day, and it was awesome!

We welcome back Jeff Goldblum, Bill Pullman, Judd Hirsch, Vivica Fox, and Brent Spiner. Now if your asking where Will Smith is at, well he’s busy with Suicide Squad so his character dies off screen some time ago.

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EXCLUSIVE – seen at the “Independence Day Resurgence” Global Production Event on Monday, June 22, 2015, in Albuquerque, New Mexico. (Photo by Eric Charbonneau/Invision for Twentieth Century Fox/AP Images)

New to the cast we get Liam Hemsworth (not Thor the other Hemsworth), William Fichtner (not Shredder from Ninja Turtles), and Maika Monroe (not the actress who played the daughter in the first film).

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EXCLUSIVE – Cast of “Independence Day Resurgence” seen at the “Independence Day Resurgence” Global Production Event on Monday, June 22, 2015, in Albuquerque, New Mexico. (Photo by Eric Charbonneau/Invision for Twentieth Century Fox/AP Images)

The plot is actually quite good for a sci-fic sequel.

After the events of the first movie, the government has used the alien technology to enhance their arm forces and weapons. Goldblum’s character who was known to be echo friendly and anti-government is not happy with the way the government as used the alien tech.

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Bill Pullman, who obviously is still scarred from when the captured alien got in his head, says he had dreamed about the aliens returning. Since his term as President he has grown a beard and now uses a cane to walk. From what I saw his now grown daughter is dating Hemsworth’s character and his buddy is Will Smith’s son.

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X-Men: Apocalypse needs to watch this trailer and learn what a good trailer looks like. ID 2 had CGI, and is going to be in 3D. However they didn’t catered to the 3D like X-Men did. This movie is going to be corny, but it still pulled me in. X-Men is not suppose to be  corny, but they trailer makes it look that way.

Along with Batman v Superman, Rogue One, Civil War, ID 2 is on my list of films I can’t wait to see in theaters!

X-Men: Apocalypse Trailer Review

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Out of all the super hero movies out there, the X-Men franchise is my favorite. I grew up watching the cartoon series and the SEGA games, and was a huge fan of the first two films when they came out. X2 is still my favorite movie out of the series.

So being a fan of cartoon series I was introduced to a lot of villains in that universe. My favorite one being Apocalypse! I even had an action figure of him in my room…still in the box. That being said, I’ve been wanting to see him in a film since X-Men: The Last Stand. Which when you take out the whole Magneto his Hitler, and “the Juggernaut Bitch”, could have been an interesting story about the Phoenix.

Also, despite X2 each other X-Men movie saw Magneto as the films core bad guy. With Humans bad guys included trying to kill, or round up mutants. Similar with how the Superman Franchise always had Lex Luthor as the core bad guys in the films, while ignoring villains like Brainiac.

So last year with the release of Days of Future Past we got an after credit scene that showed the first mutant himself, Ivan Ooze! I..I mean…Apocalypse!

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Now in that scene we see the first mutant standing above an Egyptian city, while slaves are building pyramids. Now we know that this has to be some time long ago because Apocalypse is quite young in this scene, and when we get to the next film in the 80’s he looks a lot older. Plus we get a glimpse at the four horsemen. Then BLACK!

Yesterday news went around that the first full trailer was dropping on Friday, and seeing that it’s the day I watched it online.

He’s what we know so far from just the trailer.

Professor X has reopened the school for the gifted, and by this point has recruited Jean Gray and possibly Scott Summers. Who’s brother Alex aka Havok is scene with Professor X when they discover that Apocalypse may be real. Now will they be brothers in the film? Who knows, they may just over look that part and never mention how their last names are the same.

Another thing we see is that from the last time we saw Apocalypse he lost his horsemen. How? Maybe they got older and died, or died in a battle, or who cares this is an X-Men movies and continuity does not exist in this franchise!

We find out that the new four horsemen are: Magneto, Storm, Psylocke and Angel. Also, Moria is great at giving exposition through dialogue! Tells us everything we need to know going into this.

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We also get to see quicksilver again, does he know who is daddy is? Beast is back, will they change the make-up again? Nightcrawler and Jubliee because…yeah.

Then probably the weird story line in the new trilogy is how Mystique is a good guy now…I mean a good guy again. Her story arc is so Topsy-Turvy, and will they explain what happened between the ending of the last film, where she disguised herself as Stryker and saved Wolverine (dumb, why not have the real Stryker do that?), to where it looks like she’s been gone for a while.

Then we get some REALLY BAD CGI effects, I mean SyFy movie channel production CGI. That or it looks like the effects were catered for 3D, like when a 3D movie has someone throws an object at the screen so when you go watch it it’s in 3D!!! lame.

Then to end it, they give some fan service by showing a quick scene of bald Professor X. OK then…

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To sum up this trailer I’ll say this, the 3rd film in a series is always the one to worry about. Return of the Jedi, Return of the King, Spiderman 3, Iron Man 3, and yes X-Men 3. Did I liked this trailer, eh it was OK. Honestly I think they could have done better. I’ll still go see it cause I’m a fan, but my hopes will be at a median level.

Unlike Star Wars: The Force Awakens which comes out next week, my hopes are high for that film! So if it sucks I have no one to blame but myself!

 

Batman v Superman Trailer Review

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The new trailer for Zack Snyder’s Batman v Superman film dropped yesterday. We got some incite to the film’s plot, and a few spoilers.

When the trailer opens up we see a press event taking place set up my LexCorp. Clark is there covering the event for the Daily Planet. Then Gotham’s must famous playboy millionaire Bruce Wayne shows up. We get a good look at Ben Affleck’s  Bruce. He’s older, and from the conversation with Clark about the diffrences between Superman and Batman, it looks as if Bruce knows that Clark is The Man of Steel.

We also get a reference to the Joker, you can tell when Affleck says, “Maybe its the Gotham City in me…” you can tell he’s been wanting to say that since childhood!

We then get to see Lex introduce the two hero’s in a very corny fashion. It’s like Gene Hackman’s Lex Luthor but as a young man. Although the whole hand shaking line from Lex saying how firm Clark’s was is stupid.

It’s shown that Bruce and Lex have meet in the past, most likely is business passing.

We then get another look into the Batman dream sequence with Superman, cause that’s what it is.

What I thought was interesting is that we get are first bat swear in a movie, “That Son of a Bitch.” I’m sure he must have said “damn” at some point. But throwing at an SOB, this is a more angry, bitter, Batman we are getting.

Lex then says the title of the movie again as he has Lois captured. Which short of shows that he probably knows that Clark is Superman.

Then we get the whole movie RUINED when the studio and the editor of the trailer spoil the surprise plot. We see that Lex is using Zod’s body for some experiments, now we have seen these same things in the previous trailer. What we get to see now is the reveal of DOOMSDAY! Yep, the main villain of the movie and he’s most likely going to be on screen for maybe 20mins. Why show everyone this and not wait to surprise people at the theaters?

Also we get a funny joke between Batman and Superman about Wonder Woman. “She with you?” “I thought she was with you?” ADD LAUGH HERE!

All in all, I liked the trailer. It has its fair share of funny, serious, action, and comic book homage scenes. Will this by past Nolan’s Batman Series in the box office? We shall see, all I know for sure is that nothing is going to beat Star Wars until maybe Captain America: Civil War.

Gods of Egypt, Why do movies like this get green-lit?

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I just watched the trailer for what I predict will be the first financial bomb of 2016, GODS OF EGYPT.

This movie stars Game of Thrones actor Nikolaj Coster-Waldau as the hero of the film Horus, He also started in last years The Other Woman, the really disappointing feature film version of the scary short film Mama, and had a bit part in the boring Tom Cruise space movie Oblivion. None of these movies are pieces of great cinema by any count.

Our bad guy is played by the start of the upcoming 80’s action comedy London Has Fallen Down, Fallen Down, Fallen Down, My Fair Lady, Gerard Butler as Set. Ugh, I can not stand Gerard Butler. The only movie I liked with him in it was The Ugly Truth, don’t judge me monkey…

What makes me sad as I read this cast is that somehow they were able to rope in Geoffrey Rush, from Pirates of the Caribbean and Mystery Men (that was the first movie I saw him in), and Black Panther himself Chadwick Boseman.

These two are really good actors, how did they agree to do this film? Rush I can kind of get, I mean like Morgan Freeman said once about why do A Dolphin Tale 2…”Money.” Boseman though, he just got signed on to Disney’s Marvel Universe for both Civil War and a stand alone Black Panther film. He does not need to do this movie, unless they offered them both a butt-load of cash.

With Nikolaj and Butler I can see them doing movies like this. Look at what Butler is coming out next year, a stupid sequel to a stupid movie.

What makes me even more surprise is that a production company would produce this movie and give the movie a 140 million dollar budget. The last Hunger Games movie was only made with 125 million.

Now you can argue, “well look at the trailer, this is a heavy CGI movie. I bet it was all shot on greenscreen and that’s why its so expensive to make!” Take as Exhibit A Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, it was made for 113 million and it was a heavy CGI film. Course with the last Pirates film the budget was 378.5 million and racked in a total of 1.046 billion in the box office. But Gods of Egypt is not piggy backing on a franchise like Pirates is doing. This film I highly predict will come no where close to a billion in the box office. I’ll be surprise if they even break their budget.

Lionsgate is distributing the film, this is the same company of The Hunger Games, Twilight Saga, and The Expendables. So even when this film tanks they will be OK with Hunger Games money. Not to mention they got the distributing rights to the new Mighty Morphing Power Rangers film.

So now we come back to the question at hand, why do films like this get made? What I think is that a film like this will make bank overseas and with that they are able to make their budget back and more. Cause no one here in the US is going to see this movie. I would love to find someone out there who watch the trailer and said, “OMG! What an epic trailer! I MUST see this film!”

They only positive thing I take from this is, if a piece of movie garbage like this can get made I can make a movie, and find people back it like no sweat!