Captain America: Civil War Spoiler Review

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Friday night I saw Captain America Civil War in theaters, which like how in the original Star Trek films Wrath of Kahn, Search for Spock and The Voyage Home are called a trilogy. This film along with Winter Soldier and Age of Ultron, make up an Avengers trilogy of sorts.

I was actually a fan of the first Captain America film and Winter Soldier is my favorite MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE film to date. Winter Soldier was a good film outside of the MCU, and it help change the look and feel of the films that came after.

When the news came out that the 3rd Captain America film would be semi based on the acclaim graphic novel CIVIL WAR, I was excited to see two of the MCU’s biggest heroes duel in  battle of right and wrong. Then Spider-Man and Ant-Man were announced to make an appearance in the film. Which OK I get why Ant-Man was in it, his film did good and Paul Rudd is a face people know. Plus he was in the comic. Spider-Man how ever always felt forced to me. Since SONY messed up another Spider-Man film they made a deal with the MCU to use the character in this film.

Let me get to the real SPOILER part of this blog:

The film begins in 1991, where we see the Winter Soldier being sent out on a mission to take out a car and steal some medical bags, we are never told really what these thing are. We learn later that its the same stuff Steve Rogers was given that made him Cap. America. Although, the only person who knew how to make that was the scientist who was murdered in the first Cap. America film. I guess they somehow found notes and recreated it? Also after we see Stark’s hologram of his parents leaving, and then clips of the night Winter Soldier look out the car in 91′, it was obvious that it was Tony’s parents who were in the car. Meaning Bucky killed his parents. Now this is not revealed to Tony until the very end of the film.

The whole motivation of the film to why Tony decides to sign the Sokovia Accords, is because a mom happens to be below a university waiting to meet him and show him a picture of her dead son. Who was killed in Sokovia.

We also get to see our “villain” for the film Zemo, what a waste of another MARVEL villain. He kills a former Soviet General who had worked on the Winter Soldier project we saw in the beginning. He’s motivation for killing people, is cause is wife and kids were killed in Sokovia. Really? So that’s why he killed Black Panther’s father and several others? We find out through Bucky that the stuff he stole from Tony’s dad was used to create more Winter Soldiers like him. They were all frozen and Zemo finds them, and what does he do when he finds them? He shoots them in the end and plays a videos showing Tony that Bucky killed his folks. How he knew Tony would show up, who knows.

Another wasted villain was Crossbones. Here’s a character we saw in Winter Soldier that is a big Captain America villain. In this film we see that he has a team that breaks into a building and steals a bio weapon. He then blows himself up, trying to kill Cap in the process. He’s stopped my Scarlet Witch, but she throws him towards a building with people…whoops.

How I would have done this film story is so:

Start it in 1991 like how the film does, with Bucky being told the lines that put him in a trance. We then see him Attack the car and taking the super serum.

We then cut to present day at the funeral of Peggy Carter. There is Cap, Falcon, Tony, Hank Pym and his daughter, Scott Lang, Black Widow, and the rest of the Avengers minor Hawkeye, Thor and Bruce. Like in the film we see we find out that Agent 13 Sharon Carter is related to Peggy. That an her an Cap have been romantic lately. It can be here where we have Ant-Man and Falcon reunite, Hank meeting Tony. and then Black Widow telling Cap that Crossbones is attacking a city in Africa.

Now this cam mirror what happens in the film a bit. What I would add is that along with Crossbones are these group of super like soldiers, who speak in Russian, are working along side him. They attack the center of disease control and try to steal a bio weapon. The Avengers like in the film stop them. They’re mission fails, but this group of super soldiers destroy a building killed many people. Crossbones and his team escape.

Like the film we cut to Tony’s hologram with his folks, but instead of him talking to a university we have him talking to a High School. He can be going on a tour, visiting High Schools and offering one lucky person a grant. There he can meet Peter Parker as he leaves and they have a mini conversation. Camera crews are out when a woman walks up to him acting like a mom who’s son is interested in the grant, only to reveal that her son was killed in Sokovia and his dreams died with him. Having this be LIVE on television we see Tony’s reaction and the worlds as well.

Much like in the film again, Gen. Ross meets with the Avengers and has then now working for the UN, which Tony agrees with and Roger saying no. We add in some lines to Cap about how can they trust Ross to not take advantage of the Avengers powers when he himself created an Abomination. Echo back the The Incredible Hulk film.

Cap now working with Falcon alone on this decides that he needs to find Bucky and see if he knows anything about these Russian speaking super soldiers. Bucky is still a wanted criminal though, so if caught he will go to jail.

We also find out that crossbones and the super soldiers are working for Baron Heinrich Zemo, who like in the film uses the information Black Widow leaked out to find out about the super soldiers and the Winter Soldier projects. We see Cap and Iron Man try to convince each other who’s right. We’re then joined by Black Panther, who is there to sign the Sokova Accords like in the film, when its attacked. Also like the film Bucky is blamed for it, when in reality it was the super soldiers and Zemo. They blame the attacks on Bucky and the governments of the world go after him. Its at this point someone leaked to Tony that Bucky killed his parents and wants him dead. With Cap knowing this the whole time, like in the film, after the events at the warehouse in Winter Soldier.

From this point we see a similar situations shown in the film. But Vision is also being held prisoner in the Avengers base, to not only protect Scarlet Witch who he likes, but because Tony feels responsible for his creation and makes a deal to make him safe. It didn’t make any sense to be why they would be afraid of Scarlet Witch and not the thing created by Ultron. We see a fight scenes between Cap and Crossbones mixed in. Zemo, like in the film, uses the soviet mind control on Bucky. Which still works on him. However as the film gets closer to the end Bucky is able to over come it and break the trance for good. He doesn’t get re frozen like in the film…that was stupid.

Also when Tony meets Peter Parker, he tells him he got selected for the scholarship and that he knows he’s the hero known as Spider-Man. So that differs a bit from the film.

The film ends with Captain, Bucky, and Iron Man fighting to the death. Its at this point where Tony knows that Zemo was behind it all, but is so taken over by anger still tries to Kill Bucky. Its also reveled that Zemo is actually Red Skull. After the events of the first film, the Tesseract sent him to where Thanos is. There he tells him of his world and Thanos uses him to help take over earth. Captain is about to pretty much kill Tony, after Iron man when a shot rings out. Its Crossbones, he snipes Cap killing him. Tony holds his dying body, as he looks out to where the shot came from. Bucky is cleared of all charges of the bombings, but is arrested for the crimes he committed as the Winter Soldier.

The film ends as it began, with a funeral. All the Avengers are there and Tony gives the eulogy. The Sokovia Accords go into effect. With the Avengers now part of the government, and some of the team is still in prison.

The first after credit scene is the Spider-Man one that was shown at the end of the film.

The after-credit scene is instead pays homage to the first Iron Man film. Tony walks into his house and much like how Nick Fury showed up in the dark, this time its Star Lord and the introduction is similar to that of Nick Fury. Tony is defensive and shoots his Iron Man hand glove at him. Star Lord moves out of the way and tells Tony that a darker force is coming.

BOOM, THE END!

So that’s my rant about Civil War and how I would have rewritten some parts.

If you haven’t scene the film, go watch it and make your own opinions.

“Kindergarten Cop 2: Just Cause” Trailer Review

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Ivan Reitman’s comedy Kindergarten Cop has become a classic Arnold Schwarzenegger comedy. With lines that still get quoted today, “Who is your daddy, and what does he do?” “Shut uuuuup!”, “It’s not a tumor!”

So now 26 years later we got another sequel to a Schwarzenegger that no one asked for. However much like Jingle All the Way, Arnold did not return. Instead we get He-Man himself Dolph Lundgren! Yep  that’s right, this Chemical Engineer who has stared in about 5 films you can remember is the new Kindergarten Cop!

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The director of this film is not a stranger to directing sequels. He’s directed Tremors 5: Bloodlines, Sniper: Legacy, Jarhead 2: Field of Fire, and Lake Placid: The Final Chapter. All gems. The writer also wrote American Pie 2, The Book of Love, and also the canceled Pork’s remake. Great job Universal Pictures!

Then they give him a Chis Tucker like sidekick. The plot has similar elements to the original. With Dolph playing a cop who goes undercover as  teacher. Though in the original you have this story about a bad guy that has connections to one of the students, Big Mommy House stole that idea by the way. In this film its a finding a missing hard drive…exciting!

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Much like how Zoolander No.2 and Dumb and Dumber Too arrived late to the sequel party, Kindergarden Cop 2 was never sent an invitation but showed up anyways. There’s a reason this sequel to a very funny comedy is going strait to Blu-ray, why a studio like Universal would green light this scares me. What a waste of time for everyone involved, I can’t wait to see what this movie makes in sales.

 

The worst movie of 2015 was…

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Vacation!
Yep that’s right, the unnecessary and unfunny sequel/reboot to the classic Vacation series.

I did not laugh one in this film, I’m sorry I did laugh when Chevy Chase was on screen…for less then 10 mins.

Ed Helms is awful in the role of Rusty Griswold. He works great as a side character like in the Hangover, but he’s not a main lead comedian. Nothing he does in this film even came close to what Chase did in the other films.

Christina Applegate was a waste of a talented comedic actress. She was the strait-actor to Helms idiot character. Beverly D’Angelo did better in the wife character role, and has aged better then Chase.

The kids in this film are the WORST characters in this film. The older brother is not funny at all and really just a sad character. Then the little brother was written so poorly, he was mean and vulgar for the sake of being just that. There is a seen where the whole family is singing and the little brother just calls his brother something vulgar for no reason…I don’t remember what it was cause I’ve blocked most of this film out of my brain.

There’s also these two subplots that re introduced that go nowhere. One has to do with a rival pilot played by…ugh WHY did this actor sign on to do this movie! Ron Livingston of Office Space and Band of Brothers…Ron how did they drag you into this film? So in the beginning of the film we see this one-shot scene where I guess the Helms and Ron characters have some bitter rivalry. It’s never mention again till the end of the film, and even then it sort of just begins and ends like in 2 seconds.

The other useless subplot is the other brother’s love interest. She pops up here and there through out the film, its cute scenes but it has no pay off. I thought they were going to have it where she was the daughter of Ron Livingston…nope her character was just some random girl.

Then we get our 2nd…no 5th Handed Cousin Eddie family with Thor and Leslie Mann. Leslie Mann plays the same character she always plays in comedy films…so not funny. Thor is your new Cousin Eddie, he lives in Plano, Texas. Being from the area I can say that’s no where in Plano, Texas I’ve ever seen. And of course he plays it was the stereotypical Texan, with movie cowboy shirts, has long horn on his ranch house property, and everything looks like the inside of a Cavenders store. If you don’t know what that is, google it. He’s not funny in the slightest, and the big dick joke falls flat…”pun”. It makes me worried for his performance in the upcoming Ghost Busters reboot. Actually this whole film makes me worried for that film!

Looking back there is one scene besides the Chevy Chase scenes that made me giggle. This one has to do with the cameo by Daryl Dixon himself. Watch and see if you giggle a bit.

In conclusion I’ll say this, go watch the original films and skip this piece of garbage that spit on the memory of Harold Ramis and John Hughes.

Independence Day: Resurgence trailer review

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Thank the maker it didn’t get titled ID2: Forever Part 1…

Today dropped the first trailer for the sequel to the 1996 mega blockbuster Independence Day, and it was awesome!

We welcome back Jeff Goldblum, Bill Pullman, Judd Hirsch, Vivica Fox, and Brent Spiner. Now if your asking where Will Smith is at, well he’s busy with Suicide Squad so his character dies off screen some time ago.

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EXCLUSIVE – seen at the “Independence Day Resurgence” Global Production Event on Monday, June 22, 2015, in Albuquerque, New Mexico. (Photo by Eric Charbonneau/Invision for Twentieth Century Fox/AP Images)

New to the cast we get Liam Hemsworth (not Thor the other Hemsworth), William Fichtner (not Shredder from Ninja Turtles), and Maika Monroe (not the actress who played the daughter in the first film).

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EXCLUSIVE – Cast of “Independence Day Resurgence” seen at the “Independence Day Resurgence” Global Production Event on Monday, June 22, 2015, in Albuquerque, New Mexico. (Photo by Eric Charbonneau/Invision for Twentieth Century Fox/AP Images)

The plot is actually quite good for a sci-fic sequel.

After the events of the first movie, the government has used the alien technology to enhance their arm forces and weapons. Goldblum’s character who was known to be echo friendly and anti-government is not happy with the way the government as used the alien tech.

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Bill Pullman, who obviously is still scarred from when the captured alien got in his head, says he had dreamed about the aliens returning. Since his term as President he has grown a beard and now uses a cane to walk. From what I saw his now grown daughter is dating Hemsworth’s character and his buddy is Will Smith’s son.

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X-Men: Apocalypse needs to watch this trailer and learn what a good trailer looks like. ID 2 had CGI, and is going to be in 3D. However they didn’t catered to the 3D like X-Men did. This movie is going to be corny, but it still pulled me in. X-Men is not suppose to be  corny, but they trailer makes it look that way.

Along with Batman v Superman, Rogue One, Civil War, ID 2 is on my list of films I can’t wait to see in theaters!

“JINGLE ALL THE WAY 2” Why and What?

If you grew up in the 90’s you remember the Christmas cult film JINGLE ALL THE WAY starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad.

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The story of two dad’s out to find a TURBO MAN action-figure, and struggle and fight to find it. Was this a great film? No, but it was a fun 90’s family film that also introduced Jake Lloyd aka Anakin Skywalker.

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Well after 18 years the WWF and 20th Century Fox have teamed up to make a sequel which its only connection to the original is that its about a dad trying to find a toy for his kid. So who did they cast in this sequel no one wanted or asked for? Non other then that fake redneck himself Daniel Whitney aka Larry the Cable Guy.

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Larry plays a dad who’s looking for a teddy bear for his daughter, but its sold out. So he goes looking for it, but his daughters EVIL stepfather doesn’t want that to happen so tries to stop him. FUNNY RIGHT?

This trailer is obviously just a teaser and looks more like a rip off of Christmas Vacation, a bad rip off.

Alex Zimmer the director of this film as directed such sequel jems as:

Inspector Gadget 2

Dr. Dolittle: Million Dollar Mutts

Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2

Tooth Fairy 2 (which also starred Larry)

and The Little Rascals Save The Day

I’m surprised he didn’t direct the Christmas Story sequel. Which was another sequel non of us asked for.

JINGLE ALL THE WAY is just one of those guilty pleasure films and also a classic 90’s Arnold film. This sequel is just another line of bad movies the WWF is producing. Don’t believe me, go check out LEPRECHAUN: ORIGINS.